Uurrgghhh, you guys. I'm currently writing a universe-crossover with Tiger Gray and exploring new dimensions of a truly vile character, Cary and Lindsay's father, Lewis. I don't mind telling you all that he's heavily modeled after my own dead-beat dad and is a blatant attempt to exorcise those demons through my writing. Add onto that a heaping scoop of the religious insanity I grew up around, and...yeah.
The problem is, I have to write him. This guy is emotionally abusive/neglectful, cowardly, psychotic and the captain of the cruise ship that cruises De Nile. The current scene involves my wading tits-deep in De Nile, which is filled with with Psychosis Crocodiles and a heavy dose of cruelty. Even for a short scene I have to psych myself up for him. In a scene like this, I must drink. And then possibly bathe in bleach.
Now, I have and will torture my beloved characters. I also write some pretty psychotic characters. Some of them are downright scary because they come out of my brain. Very few of them have affected me like him. Maybe it's the personal connection that bothers me so much, but this bastard makes my skin crawl. I guess, though, that that's a good thing. I find that the more I elicit emotions in myself while writing, the more effectively I elicit them in my reader.
I will now go back to my raspberry bitch beer.